Hostages to Fortune
by just slummin
Summary: MalRiver. A sixpart fic set one year postBDM. NOW COMPLETE! While planning a new life together, Mal and River encounter old enemies.
1. Chapter 1

**Hostages to Fortune**

**Part I—The Meeting**

Author: just slummin

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, but I can think of some interesting things to do with a couple of them.

Pairing: Mal/River

Timeline: One year post-BDM. Set after the events of "Voices".

Author's Note: This is a multi-part fic. Please take a moment to leave feedback!

Summary (Part I): Mal and River make big plans, but unfortunately, they are not the only ones to do so.

XXXXX

General Chang placed the capture on his desk and looked across at the man sitting in front of him. "Every time I see this, I'm quite impressed by River Tam's ability, except for the small, shall we say, 'glitch' in her programming."

"A glitch which we intend to correct."

Chang gazed steadily at the vaguely reptilian man. "And you honestly believe after all that's happened, you can accomplish that?" he asked, skepticism creeping into his tone.

"We believe that, with the right resources and level of commitment, everything is possible to us. You have some of the resources we require, but should you choose not to cooperate, others will be more than happy to participate in such a venture. Once your men have acquired the subject, we stand ready to begin re-education. Fine tuning the process, you might say. Think of the military applications, not to mention your own position."

General Chang considered momentarily. "In the right hands, such a thing could stabilize the Alliance permanently," he admitted.

"Can we take that as a 'yes' then?"

"How could I refuse?"

"You really couldn't," the man replied chillingly, passing his blue-gloved hand briefly over his stern brow.

XXXXXX

Mal sat at the galley table, cleaning his weapons and listening to the sound of River's humming coming from the kitchen. For a woman whom he was sure had never even turned on a stove before coming to Serenity, she was a passable cook. A little more subtle with the spices than Kaylee, but still pretty good.

"What's that tune you're hummin, bao bei?" he asked.

"You should know, silly. It's the same one I heard you whistling the other day in the cargo bay," she called back cheerfully.

That gave Mal pause. He hadn't even realized he'd been whistling aloud. How long before River had it been, he wondered, that he'd even had to urge to whistle? What a change to his emotional landscape the woman had brought.

And River herself seemed transformed to him. While still plagued by bad spells, spilling out ramblings about 'blue hands, silver needles, red blood' and the like, she was obviously much more stable than she had been before Miranda. And it was a pure thing of beauty to see her happy, her bright brown eyes shining and content. If her had anything to do with it, those eyes would stay that way as long as he drew breath.

River's humming had advanced to real singing now. Leaning back in his chair, Mal said, "What with your singing and Jayne's guitar playin', maybehaps we can stop this life of crime and tour the 'verse as a novelty act."

"Perhaps," River replied, "but I'd miss the thrilling heroics if we did."

They laughed together easily. In fact, Mal pondered, things had been going easy for the whole crew, as if a horrible curse had been lifted. Their last job supplied food enough for several weeks, no one was nursing an injury, and they had nowhere they had to be right away. He was tempted to pinch himself to be sure he wasn't dreaming.

Deciding that now was the perfect time to act on a plan he'd been debating awhile, Mal announced at the dinner table that they would be heading to Greenleaf for some vacation time. Everyone excitedly began planning what to do with their free time and extra coin. Dinner was a merry affair.

Once alone again, Mal and River discussed their own plans. "I'm of a mind to spend a night off this boat with some lucky woman," Mal began, his blue eyes glittering wickedly.

"And where do you suppose you might find such a woman?" River hooked her arms tightly across his shoulders.

"I got me a fine idea as to where to start the search," Mal said, lifting her legs to straddle his waist easily.

XXXXX

Once they landed on Greenleaf, Mal sincerely hoped that River was honoring her promise to refrain from reading him intentionally. One of the drawbacks to having a lover who was also a reader was the impossibility of surprising her. And he very much wanted certain parts of their evening out to be a surprise. Slipping his purchase carefully into the pocket of his long, brown coat, he made his way back to Serenity.

Meeting Simon and Kaylee coming down the ramp, Mal suppressed a chuckle. Simon carried a picnic basket, blankets, Kaylee's parasol, and what looked to be a book of poetry balanced precariously, while Kaylee practically bounced along in front to meet the Captain.

"Mornin', Cap'n, ain't it just the shiniest day today?" Kaylee asked, enthusiastic as a puppy with a new chew toy.

"That it is, darlin'." Mal smiled at his young mechanic. "You and the doc headed out to enjoy the air?"

"Yup. Palnnin' on makin' a day of it, I reckon." Kaylee's smile was like the sun.

"Have fun then, mei mei. And don't keep the doc here out in the sun too long." Mal walked further up the ramp. "Zoe left yet?"

"nope. Saw her in the galley when we was packin' our lunches just now."

Mal nodded, grateful to catch Zoe alone before she went anywhere. Entering the galley, he saw her sitting at the table, idly flipping through a well-thumbed book while she sipped her coffee.

"Morning, sir," she said, glancing up to see him rummaging around for his own mug. "Looks to be a pretty day dirtside."

"Yup," he said. "You got plans to walk the world this mornin'?"

"Maybe for a bit. You know I ain't much for dirt-kissin'," she replied, a slight smile gracing her lovely face.

"I do know that well enough," Mal said. "But this mornin' I did happen to notice a little shop, not two clicks away, that looked to have a fine collection of books. Thought you might like to look through 'em."

"That sounds like a plan. Thanks for the heads-up, sir. I'll likely check that out and be back by noon."

"Take all the time you want, Zoe. But I admit I would feel a mite better spendin' the night off Serenity knowin' you're here, if'n it works no hardship."

"Not at all, sir," she nodded.

Mal hesitated briefly. "About the night off-ship, I need your opinion on something. You know, as a woman-type person."

Zoe cocked her eyebrow, amused. "I'll try my best, sir."

Glancing quickly over his shoulder, he slipped the small box out of his pocket. When he opened it, he asked nervously, "Ya' think River'll like it?"

"I expect so, sir," Zoe answered, her eyes unusually warm and bright.

"That's good then," Mal said, hiding the package again. His last doubt eliminated, he was suddenly ready to take on the 'verse. "Any ideas where Jayne is?"

Zoe answered, "Said he saw a flock of some kinda' bird fly overhead this mrnin'. Planned on bringing back some fresh meat."

"Is food all that man ever thinks about?" Mal asked, amused.

"Being as how there are also taverns and whorehouses about, I'd have to say no, sir." With that, Zoe stood to leave. "Mal," she said, pausing in the doorway, "I hope you have the kinda' day you're hopin' for."

"Thanks." Mal once again thought how wonderful a gift it was to know his first mate had his back.

XXXXXX

"Sir," the nervous young grunt addressed General Chang, "I'm receiving a report that Serenity's been spotted on Greenleaf."

"How far out are we from there now?" the General asked.

"About eleven hours, sir."

"Set the course. And corporal, don't land at the public dock. We'll be going to a private bay owned by the BlueSun Corporation. I'll give you the coordinates shortly."

"Yes sir." The corporal saluted sharply.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Hostages to Fortune**

**Part II—The Proposal**

Summary: Mal and River spend a day and night together off Serenity.

XXXXX

Mal was pleasantly surprised when, after spending an entire morning shopping with River, he was only carrying two smallish boxes and one rather large bag. On the rare occasions he had been pressed into service as general pack mule and bodyguard for Kaylee and Inara on their shopping excursions, he had always returned to Serenity with a stiff back and sore arms.

But River seemed content to simply look at all the sundries without the compulsion to own them. Mal actually enjoyed the time she spent in a little out-of-the-way dress shop trying on all manner of pretties while he watched in appreciation. He could tell that two of the dresses caught her attention by the way she twirled in front of the three-way mirror, examining the effect with a critical eye. He encouraged he to buy them, but she only smiled happily, and shrugged off the suggestion.

"I've got dresses enough already for what we do," she said.

"Be that as it may, darlin', I think you look mighty fine in both of them."

"Maybe another time," she answered.

"Saving your coin for a special occasion?" Mal asked.

"Something like that," she replied, an enigmatic smile gracing her delicate features as they crossed the street.

Mal looked up at the noonday sun. "I'm getting' a mite warm in this coat, and I'd like to drop these packages off before lunch. Let's head to the inn."

River acquiesced, and they walked along in companionable silence. Just as she began to wonder if perhaps they were lost, ahead she saw a charming two-story house sitting amid a stand of old oak trees.

"Is this the place?" she asked excitedly.

At Mal's nod, she added, "It looks like the summer house I told you about from when Simon and I were children!"

"I thought it might from your description." Mal smiled.

"How long have you known about this place?" River was fascinated and flattered by Mal's attention to detail.

"Last time we had a job here, I found it. Thought to come back here someday we had the chance."

River looked at him thoughtfully. "I do believe it's things like this that make me love you, Malcolm Reynolds."

"Well then, darlin', I'll just be obliged to keep on doin' 'em."

When River saw the room, she was quite sure this was why she loved him. In the middle of the room stood an enormous four-poster bed, covered with a gaily patterned hand-crafted quilt. And to its right sat a sight almost enough to make her moan aloud in anticipation, an antique bath tub large enough for at least two, positioned precisely under a huge skylight.

"Everything shiny over ther, bao bei?" Mal asked, noting with pleasure the flush rising from her chest to her face.

"Perfect," she sighed happily.

"Well, before we get too comfortable in here, let's get some lunch. Any preferences?"

"How about that little café we passed with the flower garden outside?"

XXXXXX

As it turned out, the little cafe served the best rhubarb pie Mal had put into his mouth since his Mama's back on Shadow. River, having never tasted such a thing, was completely entranced. Leaning back with a contented sigh, she said, "I think I may have just eaten my actual weight in food. How in the 'verse did you function eating every day like this as a child?"

"Oh, we worked it off quick enough. Ranchin' was hard, but ya' went to bed every night satisfied in your mind. Slept through the night every night clear to daybreak." Mal sighed. "But then, it didn't have the pull on me that the Black does. I guess I was born a restless sort. Speakin' of traveling, I have a few odds and ends I'd like to pick up. Want me to walk ya' back to the inn?"

I'd like to find a few more things, too," River said lightly. "Why don't we meet back here in an hour and walk back together?"

A vague disquiet made the short hair on the back of Mal's neck prickle. He didn't like the notion of River walking alone through the unfamiliar streets. But, she looked so hopeful all of a sudden that he couldn't refuse her. "One hour sharp," he confirmed.

Kissing him sweetly on the forehead, River danced down the street and around the corner. When he was sure she was well and truly out of sight, he hurried back to the little dress shop. Winking at the clerk, he thanked her for holding the dress aside for him.

"It was my pleasure, sir. Your lady looked quite lovely in it." As she watched him head back down the street, the clerk thought that every couple should look so happy and be so kind to one another as they had.

River, true to her word, returned in precisely one hour, triumphantly carrying two packages. For one stomach-twisting moment, Mal was afraid she had gone back to the dress shop herself. "Whatcha' got there, darlin'?"

"It's a surprise," she trilled happily, twirling around him dizzyingly. "I'll show you in the room." She practically dragged him out of the chair, as he scrambled to retrieve his own package. "Got a few surprises of my own, bao bei," he grunted, trying to catch up with her retreating form. "Let's slow this race down to a saunter so's I still got breath to climb the stairs when we get there."

River obligingly slowed to a more sedate pace. "When'd you get to be such an old man?" she teased.

"While back now, darlin', only you've been too dazzled by my winnin' manner to notice." Mal's smile lit his eyes. River's laugh warmed his soul. "I'm sure that's the case," she answered.

Arriving back in their room, Mal was eager to show River her gift, but she insisted on going first. Putting the packages behind her back, she invited him to choose one. He reached around her slowly, pressing his body firmly against hers.

"How 'bout I unwrap this one first?" he whispered against her neck.

River melted against him instantly. "You don't play fair," she said, kissing his chest with gentle little nips.

"That's because I aim to win." Mal's hands found the zipper of her skirt. Sliding it slowly down her hips, he snagged her panties with a thumb, sending them to follow the skirt to the floor. Reversing the direction of his hands, he quickly relieved River of the last impediments to his unobstructed view. Stepping back to eye his handiwork, he was struck again by her bewitching beauty. Small, firm rose-tipped breasts, tilting upward begging for his hands and mouth. Smooth pale skin covering gently curving hips. Creamy thighs, parting slightly even now, as he pulled her close again.

Her clever hands went to work immediately to bare him to her as well. Kissing and nibbling her way down his chest and abdomen, she knelt before him. Swirling first her hands and then her tongue lightly along the length of his growing erection, she heard him gasp. His hips bucking involuntarily, he stilled the motion of her head. Her silky hair fluttered to a halt against his thighs. She looked up, tongue darting out to capture the taste of him on her lips.

"What's wrong, ai ren?" she asked.

Hauling her up his body and groaning at the friction created by the gesture, he answered huskily, "Not a thing in the 'verse I can think of. Only, if you keep doin' that, this is gonna be over way too quick."

Leading her to the bed, he laid her down a bit more forcefully than he'd intended. "I want to give you time to catch up."

Taking his hand and placing it between her thighs to feel the wet heat pooled ther, she whispered, "I'm already there, ai ren."

That was all he needed to hear. Positioning himself at her entrance, he thrust into her in one long, smooth stroke. The combination of her inner walls contracting sharply at the invasion and her gasp of pleasure sent him beyond conscious thought. Lost to her own pleasure, River met his thrusts with the movement of her own hips. Communing in the age-old dance of man and mate, they were truly one, joined in body and soul.

Feeling the freedom of being away from the eyes and ears of the crew, they reveled, each in the sound of the other's cries of release. Finally, sweat-soaked and satiated, they lay entwined together.

"What are you thinking, ai ren?" River asked.

Startled by the question, Mal answered, "You sayin' you're not reading me bao bei?"

"You asked me not to."

"You've gained enough control to really manage that?" Mal was both pleased and surprised.

"For the most part," River answered. "You're always a presence in my head, but now I can cut the volume down. And I've been respecting your wishes. So, I'm asking honestly, 'What are you thinking?'"

Mal shifted to look at her directly. Taking a deep breath, he answered. "I was thinkin' on the future. Thinkin' how I wanna be layin' with you every night, and wakin' up with you every morning." Noting River's soft smile, he continued, "You ever think on the future, bao bei?"

"Didn't know until last year I could hope for one," she answered, eyes huge and shining like gemstones.

"Wait a minute," Mal said, jumping out of bed to rummage through his coat pockets. Returning to kneel on one knee by the bed, he opened the small box and handed it to her. "I want to make love to you always, make a life with you. I want to see you pregnant with my children, and watch you rock my grandchildren to sleep. I want to marry you, River Tam. Please, bao bei, do me the honor of being my wife."

River's smile lit up the 'verse. "I'll be your wife, Malcolm Reynolds. The honor will be mine."

As he slipped the ring on her finger, he leaned in to kiss her gently. "I'll never give you cause to regret it darlin'."

"I know," she answered sincerely.

Mal's heart felt close to bursting with the beauty of the moment. But then, he looked down at his surroundings.

"I meant to do this all right and proper. Had reservations at the fanciest place I could find. Was gonna get all spit-shined and polished for you, woman."

River's gaze slid over his naked form. "I think I like this better," she said solemnly.

Mal grinned, eyeing her with appreciation as well. "Maybehaps you're right, darlin'." Pausing for a moment, he added, "But I got you another surprise." He handed her the package.

Pulling out the dress, she gasped in delight. "I'll wear it when we have our official engagement dinner," she promised, as her hands caressed the fine silk. Remembering her own surprises, she jumped up to retrieve them from where they had fallen earlier.

Kissing Mal on the cheek, she handed him the first box. Like a little boy at Christmas, he tore it open to reveal a beautifully detailed gun belt, made of fine hand-tooled leather. He was speechless with delight.

"Thought it would look sexy with those suspenders," River whispered, biting his earlobe gently.

"I like the way you think, lady. What's in the other box?"

"You'll like that even more. When I saw this great big tub in our room I couldn't resist."

River opened the box on Mal's lap to reveal scented soaps and candles, assorted massage oils and some bath toys of an extremely suggestive nature. "Wanna bath?" she asked wickedly.

Mal's mouth went dry at the thought of it. "That I do, bao bei. Bit I'm thinkin' if'n this bath is gonna happen, I gotta get somethin' to eat first. You know, a man needs his strength for that kinda' strenuous bathin'."

"As does a woman," River agreed. "But, I don't want to get dressed again to get food."

Mal nodded, "I'll get the food. Passed by a little restaurant down the way that advertised round-the-clock take-out. Won't be quite as fancy as I was aimin' for, but it should get us into that bath a little sooner. Don't be startin' without me," he warned, pulling on his pants.

"Then you'd better hurry," River laughed.

XXXXXX

Mal walked quickly through the little side streets, trying to remember exactly where he'd seen the sign for the restaurant. He stopped short suddenly, realizing that he was whistling again. She'd said 'yes', he thought, exulting in the feeling. He, Malcolm Reynolds, was about to be a husband. And not by some trick, but absolutely intentional this time, he mused.

Up ahead he saw the light of the restaurant. His stomach growled in anticipation, and he quickened his pace. Abruptly, he felt a sting behind his right ear, like that of a wasp or bee. Reaching up to rub the spot, he had just enough time to extract the small, silver dart before the 'verse went black and the ground tilted up to meet him.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Hostages to Fortune**

**Part III—The Search**

Summary: The crew searches for their Captain, and a nefarious plan is revealed.

(Please remember that feedback is greatly appreciated!)

XXXXX

Mesmorized by the ring sparkling on her slender finger, River flopped onto the bed. Mal's scent enveloped her as she curled around one of the soft pillows found there. She had been genuinely surprised and moved by his proposal. It warmed her heart that he thought her capable of being a wife and mother, despite her periods of madness. It was almost surreal, she thought, that the abuse she had suffered at the Academy had somehow led her to this man, who loved her without reserve and offered her unconditional support and protection. She was genuinely happy.

On an adrenaline high from the events of the afternoon and evening, she found it impossible to sit still. So, she began gathering the gifts they had exchanged into a pile beside their still-packed belongings. Her growling stomach reminding her that they had made love through the dinner hour, she eagerly anticipated Mal's return.

Suddenly, she stopped. Something was horribly wrong. Slipping quickly into her clothes, she tried to turn her focus inward, desperately searching through the abrupt stillness in her mind for Mal's presence. The silence was deafening and devastating.

River could feel her stability begin to unravel. This is not the time to give in to madness, she told herself savagely. Trying not to imagine all the possible reasons she could no longer sense him, she set out to trace the path Mal would have taken to reach the restaurant. She needed to find a public cortex screen.

Two blocks from the inn, she found one. Tapping in her request frantically, River tried to remember anything Mal had said about the place. There was just nothing, she thought, her mind reeling in shock. The flash of the cortex screen refocused her.

There were only two restaurants advertising take-out within walking distance of the inn. Mentally arranging the area into a grid, she began searching.

She walked for hours, the dark of night turning into dawn around her. As her yes and ears scanned every street and alleyway, her mind strained to catch even a glimmer of Mal anywhere. There was nothing. She realized with sickening dread that she had to have help.

Legs heavy as lead, she made her way back to the docks. The sight of Serenity both comforted and ripped at her heart. Mal's ship, their home, sat serene in the sun, oblivious to the loss of its master.

Zoe came down the ramp, competent and deadly. "River," she said, noting the unfocused gaze that often characterized one of River's bad spells. "You okay?"

Tortured eyes looked up to meet Zoe's impassive ones. "He's gone," River whispered.

Instinctively Zoe's hand went to the mare's leg strapped to her side. "Where's the Captain, River?"

"Nowhere," River cried, unable to maintain any semblance of composure.

Zoe's voice remained calm, but genuine fear skimmed along her spine. "What so you mean, 'nowhere'?"

Anchored precariously to lucidity by the steel in Zoe's voice, River answered, "Don't know where he is. Can't hear him anymore." She began to tremble with the effort of speaking.

"Come inside," Zoe said, leading her up the ramp and into Serenity. "Tell me everything."

XXXXXX

General Chang looked down at the man lying unconscious on the floor of the holding bay of his ship. From this vulnerable position, Malcolm Reynolds hardly seemed worth the effort expended to apprehend him. But the General knew that appearances are often deceiving. This man, with just a handful of green recruits, had inflicted serious damage to Chang's own troops in the battle of Dhu Khang. And while Chang had not been on Hera during the war, he'd read the files on what really happened in Serenity Valley.

There was no doubt that Reynolds had been a thorn in the side of the Alliance for some time, but after the war, he would have remained a minor annoyance in the grand scheme of things had it not been for his association with the Tams. Chang was unsure how that association had begun, but its result had been most unpleasant for the military personnel and Parliament members involved in the Miranda debacle. Chang had narrowly escaped that bullet, having long since erased any evidence of his own involvement. He knew quite well that secrets rarely remain so, and dead men did reveal them with shocking regularity.

Malcolm Reynolds was a man who needed to be neutralized, like an unpredictable bull must be cut from a herd. Chang had no great faith in the plans of BlueSun for Reynolds, and if they did not succeed in their goals, he had every intention to succeed with his own. As he was operating outside the authorization of Parliament, failure was not an option.

XXXXX

Having listened to River's story as calmly as she could manage, Zoe felt a powerful need to shoot someone. Instead, she rigidly held herself in check, and began to organize the immediate tasks at hand. She sent Jayne back into town to search the area for anything River may have overlooked in her distress. Zoe herself went back to the inn to retrieve the couples' belongings and talk with the port authorities about ships that had landed of departed since Serenity's arrival. Simon and Kaylee were with River, trying to calm her.

Hours later, the crew was no closer to solving the mystery of Mal's whereabouts. Jayne had seen nothing unusual, nor had he been able to find anyone who had. Zoe found, much to her consternation, that no other ships had left Greenleaf during the specified time frame, at least from the public port. The disinterested official there had told her that there was no way to know what had occurred with the multiple private docks, however.

Simon had tried to persuade River to take a smoother, but she had consistently refused. "Can't sleep," she'd yelled. "Must listen. Have to focus, search, find. Mustn't sleep." The more he demanded, the more frantic she became, until finally he relented. "At least get some rest," he insisted. More to appease him than to comfort herself, she agreed.

"Do you want me to stay with you for awhile?" Simon asked gently.

River shook her head. "Zoe needs you now," she said dully.

Simon looked intently at her, questions flitting through his head.

"Yes, I can hear her…and you. Just can't hear Mal."

As Simon climbed out of Mal's bunk, River looked through the stack of things Zoe had retrieved from the inn. The time she had spent there with Mal seemed years distant. Willing herself to control the grief that threatened to consume her, she pulled on Mal's coat. Once wrapped in it, she curled onto her side, straining to hear the one voice in the 'verse she needed above all others.

XXXXXX

Zoe sat in the galley, mentally reviewing and discarding ideas as to Mal's rescue. She could think of no avenue that seemed even vaguely likely to succeed. Short of conducting a house to house search on Greenleaf, she knew if there had been something to find there, Jayne would have found it. And as for the ships departing from private docks, well, it was a gorram big 'verse. Without some clue as yet undiscovered, it was a near impossibility that they would happen upon the hundans who took him. White hot rage seethed through her at the thought.

Simon, standing in the doorway, thanked God, not for the first time, that Zoe had never directed her fierce anger at him. Clearing his throat to alert her to his presence, he said, "Uhm, Zoe, River said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes." Zoe added dryly, "Guess she can still pick up on some things."

Simon's back stiffened at her tone and the implication. "You can't possibly blame River that Mal got himself kidnapped."

"That's hardly the point, doc. I need to know exactly where her abilities begin and end." Zoe eyed Simon sternly, brooking no argument.

He sighed, suddenly exhausted by the emotions running through his own mind. "I can't answer that question, Zoe. I don't understand even a fraction of her abilities."

"Seems to me we have to answer the first big question before I can form any type of plan of action. If she can't sense Mal at all," Zoe paused, her throat unusually dry, "is it because he's dead?"

Simon saw the cost of the question in the set of her jaw. He answered honestly. "I'm sorry, Zoe. I don't know. Maybe that's it, or maybe it's something less…drastic. Maybe she can't read him if he's unconscious, or too far away."

Zoe didn't dare cling to that hope. "He's been unconscious before, and she's heard him."

"There are different levels of consciousness. The mind is a complex thing, Zoe. Perhaps River can only sense things on a certain level. I'm sure even she doesn't know how it works."

"You mean to say I got valid reason to believe we're lookin' for a man and not a corpse?" Zoe's intensity was laser-sharp.

"I mean to say that it's possible," Simon said, putting confidence into his voice.

Zoe sat, still as death, for several minutes. "If that's the way of it, doc, I'd sure as hell welcome any suggestion as to where to look."

The two sat in silence, each desperate for any reasonable answer. None came.

XXXXXX

Chang stood watching his blue-gloved companion adjust the restraints around Reynolds' wrists, chest, and ankles. "I thought you planned to keep him unconscious for the procedure," he said.

"No, only for transport. Now that he has arrived, we'll begin to bring him back to awareness." Immobilizing Mal's head in the desired position, he continued, "However, there are some baseline readings we can get while we wait."

The door to the small laboratory opened to reveal another BlueSun employee. General Chang wondered idly if it was coincidence or design that they all looked so much alike. The man began to poke wicked-looking silver needles into Reynolds.

"I'd like to stay and observe, if there are no objections," he said.

"Of course, General. You are welcome to observe as you wish. But I must warn you, the process is both time-consuming and potentially disturbing to witness."

Chang's stomach clenched uncomfortably. "What exactly is it you hope to achieve here? You must know this man cannot be re-educated."

The first man replied, "Every man can be re-educated. You are a soldier, not a scientist, so I will explain this in simple terms. Human thought and personality are controlled by electrical impulse and chemical reaction. Alter that, and you alter the man."

"I don't believe it is exactly that simple. There is the soul to consider," Chang said.

"A concept manufactured by organized religion to bring comfort to the masses," the man replied. "Did Miranda teach you nothing, General?"

"It taught me that your failures have been spectacular."

"And our achievements even more so. But it also taught us that the will of people to live, to achieve greatness, to love can all be sublimated chemically. If this is true, then theoretically other chemicals can produce different results. Alterations to River Tam's anatomical structure and chemical composition turned a gifted dancer into a killing machine. Chemical alterations caused a small minority of perfectly reasonable people on Miranda to become reavers."

"But why choose Reynolds as a test subject?"

"He has abilities we wish to study. You saw the capture of what happened in the Maidenhead. When Tam was triggered, she wiped out the entire bar with the exception of Reynolds. What did he do that altered her programming enough to make her hesitate? And would he have this same effect on others trained like Tam?"

"Maybe she just recognized him. That might be cause for hesitation," Chang answered, finding their reasoning disturbingly flawed.

"Perhaps, but recognition did not stop her from injuring her other crew member. Think, too, of his record. He seems to inspire an unusual loyalty in his crew, and even earlier, in his men at Serenity Valley. Even one of Parliament's premiere operatives was rendered totally useless after encountering the man."

"Well," said Chang, "some men are born leaders and others followers."

"Exactly, General. And the difference can be found somewhere in the brain chemistry. Imagine what can be achieved with such knowledge. You and I both know there will be another war for independence. History shows this to be inevitable. Suppose that one side is equipped with soldiers like River Tam, led into battle by commanders like Malcolm Reynolds. And suppose further that the other side has commanders rendered incapable of strong leadership by a specific chemical agent introduced into their ranks. How long would such a war have to last, and who do you think would be victorious?"

"That is a lot of supposition," Chang said.

"Perhaps. But all true science has been realized through such supposition. We may only find limited success with Malcolm Reynolds, but what better man to use? If we do not succeed in our larger purpose, we will have at least rendered him useless as a rebel leader. And we will have acquired valuable data for future studies."

General Chang felt a momentary twinge of guilt. But it was quickly overwhelmed by the possibilities of the plan and simple morbid curiosity. "How long until he wakes up?"

"It will be within the hour. We have much to prepare," the man said, turning back to the table with a large syringe filled with a clear fluid. Chang suppressed a shudder. He didn't envy the man on the table.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Hostages to Fortune**

**Part IV—The Experiment**

Summary: Mal wakes up to a less than pleasant encounter with Blue Sun.

XXXXX

Kaylee picked morosely at the stew on her plate. She wondered if the rest of the crew found it too salty from the tears she'd shed into it standing over the pot. Sighing softly, she thought her friends might not be able to handle this latest in their long string of misfortunes. Even her own boundless optimism was beginning to flag in the face of losing her Captain.

Her eye was caught by the small ring sparkling on River's finger, and she tried to suppress another round of tears. What kind of 'verse was it that gave her friends such happiness and ripped it away in the same night? Kaylee shivered in her seat, despair threatening to overwhelm her.

Simon, trying for Kaylee's sake to force down the stew she'd made, found that every bite seemed to expand in his mouth, making the effort doubly difficult. His throat was tight and raw. Though he knew his sister truly loved the Captain, Simon himself would not have believed until now how much he cared for the man. Their relationship had been difficult, to say the least, but Simon had anchored his life to this man, and these people. With a doctor's desire to heal hurts, he cast about for anything to say to lighten the somber atmosphere. Nothing came to mind.

Jayne was the only one eating, and even he had no desire for seconds. He was not a man given to wild bouts of optimism, and he held next to no hope that Mal would be found alive. Or hell, even found at all for that matter. He had stayed on this ship longer than he'd stayed anywhere except with his Ma, but he knew that without Mal, this crew would all go to hell in a handbasket quick enough. The thought left him unaccountably depressed.

Zoe made no pretense of even trying to eat. She sat, solemn as a statue, looking around at the crew. She felt the weight of responsibility pushing down cruelly on her shoulders. These people needed a proactive leader, and she needed Mal. It had been longer than she cared to remember since Mal was not the constant in her life. Suddenly loosed from the gravitational pull of his personality, she felt disassociated, like an amputee recently deprived of a leg or an arm. Her mind, sifting through all the impossibilities of the situation, begged for any slight sliver of hope. She turned her gaze to River, silently urging her to give them some direction to take.

Returning her gaze, River moved her food listlessly around her plate. She felt empty, scoured bare like a pot hung in a sand storm. She slowly shook her head in reply to Zoe's unasked question.

Silently, everyone began to drift away from the table, leaving Zoe and River to sit in the oppressive silence. Finally, River spoke. "What are we going to do now?" she asked, one tear leaking past her long lashes.

"Don't rightly know. Got no course to take, but we can't keep stayin' in port, payin' the dockin' fee. I figure we need to at least get into the Black, maybe orbit this system awhile."

"You think I'm going to be able to tell you where he is one day, don't you?" River could feel the plea in Zoe's mind.

"I think that's the only shot we got," Zoe said bluntly. Pushing her chair back from the table and beginning to clear the dishes, she added, "Best you be getting' some rest. Tomorrow I'll be needin' you in the cockpit."

River, nodding her acceptance, moved toward the door like a woman suddenly aged by decades.

XXXXXXX

Swimming up to the surface on consciousness, Mal tried to open his eyes. Glaring bright lights spun dizzyingly directly above him. Slamming his eyes shut helped combat the sudden wave of nausea that washed over him. Reaching out with his other senses, he heard an oddly familiar disembodied voice somewhere behind his left ear.

"I think he's coming around."

Somehow the thought wasn't exactly comforting to Mal, considering that he seemed to be strapped naked to a cold metal table. In his experience, that sort of thing generally led to all manner of unpleasantness. He subtly flexed his arms and legs to test the give in the restraints. Weren't none to be had. Ye su, he thought, bile rising in his throat. Did these hundans have River too? He remembered the way she looked at him in the inn, eyes all bright, thinkin' on that bathtub. He shoulda' known there was no way in the gorram 'verse he'd ever have been lucky enough to sink into that warm bath water with River Tam. Consoling himself with the thought that River would have seen these bastards coming and gotten to safety, he decided to try to open his eyes again.

Bad mistake, he thought, as the glare of the overhead lights was abruptly replaced by the head of a man looking intently down at him. "I see you're back with us, Mr. Reynolds," he said, the ice in his tone causing Mal to involuntarily shudder. To hide his reaction, Mal drawled, "So I'm takin' it this ain't the place for the weekly quiltin' bee."

Chuckling dryly, the man replied, "No quilting bee, Mr. Reynolds. Although there will be needles involved."

Now that was all kinds of creepifying, Mal thought, as he felt the sting of the first needle sliding into his arm.

XXXXXX

Hair streaming wildly behind her, River burst onto the bridge. "He's alive! He's awake.!"

Zoe sprang from the pilot's chair to grasp her shoulders firmly. "You sure 'bout that. girl?"

River shook her head impatiently. "I hear him."

"Where is he?" Zoe asked, her white-knuckled grip tightening slightly on River's arm.

Rive stood, suddenly motionless, listening with her entire being. After several seconds, she answered, "He doesn't know. Never been there before. Some sort of laboratory. And cold, so cold." River began to shiver. "Oh Zoe," she said, the horrible truth bombarding her fragile defenses, "I know who has him."

Sinking to the floor, she tried to hold on to the slender thread of Mal's voice in her head. This was the stuff of River's nightmares. She began rocking back and forth on the deck.

Zoe, nerves stretched to snapping, strained to catch her words. "Blue hands, silver needles, red blood. Blue…two by two." Tears streamed down her face. "So cold, ai ren. So very cold and alone."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Teeth chattering painfully, Mal tried to control the violent tremors roaring through his body, causing his head to bang unmercifully against the restraints. He thought for one delirious moment that perhaps their intent was that he literally shake to death. Trying to maintain some semblance of coherence, he heard the familiar faceless voice from earlier say, "Is this supposed to happen?"

"Yes," Mal's tormentor answered. Coming back into Mal's line of vision, he addressed his victim. "What you are experiencing is a perfectly normal side effect of the drug."

"Good to know," Mal ground out.

The man continued as if Mal had not spoken. "As soon as it subsides, you will need to lie as still as possible. The next part of the procedure is, shall we say, very delicate work.."

Niska had nothing on these people, Mal thought, tamping down the sudden burst of fear he felt. Resigning himself to wait out the shudders still abusing his body, he tried to remember where he had heard that disembodied voice before. It seemed important that he remember, but the knowledge remained just beyond his grasp.

The man appeared once again, this time standing, not at Mal's side, but behind his head. Checking a reading on one of the monitors attached to leads on Mal's bare chest, he nodded to his companion. "We are ready for the instruments."

Mal heard rather than saw a tray being wheeled up beside his head.

"Remember, Mr. Reynolds, you must be perfectly still now."

A second man's blue-gloved hand parted Mal's hair two inches above his hairline. "Insert the first one here," he indicated.

Mal's eye caught the flash of silver in the first man's hand.

XXXXXXX

"Hell, Zoe. That don't tell us nothin', 'ceptin' that Mal's got some eerie-ass go se happenin' right about now." Jayne was becoming more frustrated with this situation by the minute.

Zoe eyes him coolly. Kaylee stepped between them, halting Zoe's next action. "At least it means the Cap'n ain't dead. That's a good thing, right?" she said hopefully.

"Guess that depends on your perspective." River shuddered, abruptly sensing horror from Mal. This intimacy she would not share with the crew.

"Regardless," Simon interjected, "It hardly narrows down the search area. Jayne's right. There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of BlueSun laboratories spread out all over the 'verse."

"Any of 'em on Greenleaf?" Zoe asked.

"None that I'm aware of," Simon answered. "But for that matter, he could be in a lab on a ship somewhere."

"River," Zoe asked, "Got any thoughts on that?"

River thought for a moment. "No, on land. No vibration in the floor."

"That's good enough for me. Simon, start plottin' anywhere you know a lab to be. Kaylee, you see to Serenity. She needs to be ready for full burn soon's we know where we're goin'. And Jayne, see to the armory. River, you just keep listenin'. Maybe Captain'll tell us somethin' we can use."

Zoe stood up from the table, pleased at least to have something to do other than wait.

XXXXXXXXX

Mal tried to focus through the blinding pain. At some point, he had lost count of the number of probes inserted directly into his skull. Is this what River had felt, he thought, imagining the terror of a fourteen year-old girl caught cruelly in this trap. Weren't exactly puppies and rainbows for a grown man neither. Despite the cold, sweat pooled in Mal's ears and under his back. Abruptly, his mind supplied the answer he'd been seeking. The third man in the room, whom he never could see, was General Chang, commander of Alliance forces during the battle of Dhu Khang.

As Mal puzzled out what that might mean, the second man, watching his monitors carefully, said, "L-3 needs to be adjusted upward." Unimaginable pain forced Mal to scream, as the adjustment was ruthlessly made.

"Perfect." The first man's head swam back into Mal's blurred vision. "Now, Mr. Reynolds," he said dispassionately, "it's time for your contribution to this endeavor. What comes to your mind when you hear the words 'Serenity Valley'?"

Instantly, Mal was there amid the twisted and broken bodies of his friends and enemies alike. The stench of rotting corpses assaulted his nostrils. Hearing the groans and pleas of the dying, he descended into Hell.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Hostages to Fortune**

**Part V—The Rescue**

Summary: The crew gets some help from an unexpected source, and violence ensues.

XXXXXX

Zoe leaned over Simon's shoulder in the crew lounge, studying the locations of BlueSun laboratories within a week's travelling distance from Greenleaf. Several of the planets ands moons had multiple lab sites.

"You can see the dilemma," Simon said dejectedly. "He could be on any one of these planets at any one of these facilities. And it's not like we can just go up and knock on the front door to ask.."

"Wasn't plannin' so much on knockin' or askin'," Zoe said, a dangerous edge in her voice.

"Yes, well, even so, to go in shooting you need a target."

"I might have one," River said, slipping quietly into the room.

"Captain talkin' to you again?" Zoe prayed to every deity she knew that the answer was yes.

"He recognized the voice of one of the men holdinghim. Chang." River looked expectantly at Zoe.

"You mean General Chang, Alliance commander from Dhu Khang?" At River's nod, Zoe asked, "You sure 'bout this? "Cause the wrong choice now might mean we ain't got a choice later, dong ma?"

"I'm sure. Mal's sure."

"Well, that's good news then," Simon said. "How hard can it be to track down an Alliance General?"

Zoe looked at Simon. For top three percent, sometimes that boy was too dense for words, she thought. "I expect it may be a mite more difficult than you might think, doc."

XXXXXXX

Jerked mercilessly between true memory and horrific nightmare, Mal came to the realization that there were some things a man could not endure with his sanity intact. He had seen other men reach that point, during the war and in the internment camps after. He'd even skated along that line himself, always managing to pull back from the brink. But this was different. Time had no meaning in this place, harsh reality blended into horrific nightmare, and the 'verse narrowed to the terrible dispassionate voice asking endless questions. Dangling by the last thread of his will, Mal took the only path left to him, welcoming the oblivion of unconsciousness.

XXXXXXX

Simon discovered exactly how difficult it was to find an Alliance general. After searching the cortex for several fruitless hours, he was exhausted and irritable. Resting her hands lightly on his shoulders, Kaylee leaned down to kiss the back of his neck.

"No luck, huh?' Her voice was soothing in ways Simon couldn't have imagined a few months ago.

"Zoe's gonna kill me. And if she doesn't, I'm considering doing it myself."

Kaylee bit her lip reflectively. "How 'bout if'n we got somebody to help us?"

"And who would that be?" Simon asked, unable to curb the sarcastic tone.

"Well, 'Nara knows some pretty important people. Maybe she can help."

"Kaylee, I haven't even spoken to Inara since she left nine months ago."

"Well, I have, silly. We talk all the time. You know I couldn't let her hear 'bout the Cap'n and your sister from someone else."

Simon looked in amazement at this open, caring woman who could somehow pull him out of his darkest hours. "And how did she take the news?"

"Oh well, you know, it weren't the most shiny news she'd heard, but she cares enough about both of 'em to be glad if'n they're happy. 'Nara's a good woman, ya' know."

"I do know that, ai ren. And I'm glad you've kept in touch with her." Pausing in slight embarrassment, he added, "Think you could do the talking when we ask her for help?"

"Easy peasy, honey. I already did." And Kaylee smiled that smile she had that lit the 'verse.

XXXXXXX

Mal awoke to pitch darkness and absolute silence. For one disturbing moment, he thought he might have finally made it to that purgatory place Preacher Jenkins had been so fond of yammering about when he was a child. Then, reason snapped back into place, and he realized even those BlueSun hundans had to eat and sleep sometime. Probably taking a coffee break before another shiny round of mayhem and torture, he thought grimly.

Truth be told, he was grateful for the respite. Almost lost it in that last round, he thought. Now that he could lie quiet-like for a few minutes, maybehaps he could come up with a plan of sorts. The restraints weren't like to slip off, seeing as how he weren't in fairyland, so making it out of this place by his lonesome looked somewhat less that likely. He suddenly regretted ever asking River not to read him. Concentrating as best he could, he willed her to hear him now. 'Need you, bao bei. Ain't gonna last much longer.'

Then, the most gorram amazing thing happened. He heard as clearly as if she stood beside him, 'I'm coming, ai ren. You're not alone. You'll never be alone again.'

Mal smiled. If he had finally lost his hold on reality, at least it was River's voice in his head, he thought, strengthened by the notion.

XXXXXXX

The crew crowded around the cortex screen on Serenity's bridge. "Good to see you again, Inara," Zoe said.

Smiling graciously, Inara answered, "And you as well, Zoe."

Not one for idle chitchat in the best of circumstances, Zoe got to the point. "Kaylee says you've got intel that'll help us locate the Captain."

"I hope so," Inara began, "General Chang contracts regularly with Iliana, a friend of mine. He contacted her two days ago and mentioned that he was on Boros visiting a friend, but hoped to be back with her within the month."

"Did he say who this friend might be?"

"He didn't, but the wave he sent her came from the estate of Jeremiah Holmes." Inara paused, waiting for the significance of the statement to register.

Everyone looked blankly at the screen. It was obvious to Inara they didn't recognize the name, so she added, "Jeremiah Holmes is the manager of BlueSun's Biochemical Research Division."

"Well, that's beginnin' to make a nasty sort of sense." Zoe replied.

Inara nodded. "It's rumored he has a small fully equipped lab right in his own house."

"That there sounds like a good place ta' start lookin' then," Jayne said, already happy at the thought of imminent violence.

Zoe nodded her head. "Thanks for the help, Inara. I'm grateful to you."

"Anytime I can be of help, Zoe. And by the way, when you see the Captain, tell him congratulations. " Inara's smiled dimmed just barely. "And to you as well, River."

Zoe reached to end the wave. "Will do. Take care, Inara."

Before the bridge had cleared, River had set the course for Boros. Looking up from the console, she said to Zoe, "We can get there in twelve hours at full burn."

"Do it," Zoe answered.

XXXXXXX

"What do you think of our little project so far?" Jeremiah Holmes asked General Chang, offering him a cup of tea.

"You want the truth?" Chang asked, taking a large sip of the scalding liquid.

"Of course, I as a scientist, am always on a quest for knowledge." Holmes smiled benignly.

"I've seen and done a lot of things in my day that would make a man's blood freeze," General Chang began. "But what I've seen and heard in your little lab is far colder than anything I've devised."

"Science, of necessity, requires a certain cold precision, General."

"I wouldn't know about that," Chang replied. "Still, if the desired results are achieved, the end justifies the means."

General Chang looked up at Holmes, suddenly dizzy and nauseous. Holmes gently removed the tea cup from his hand, as Chang slumped over in his chair, wide-eyed with fear.

"I quite agree. You see," Holmes said softly, "we have the raw data from Reynolds to begin preliminary analysis. But of course, we require additional subjects for comparison purposes. That is why you were chosen."

Chang's vision faded to black.

XXXXXXX

Crouching low in the bushes surrounding Holmes' estate, Zoe, Jayne, and River surveyed the layout. "We have to hurry," River whispered mournfully. "It's starting again, and he's so tired."

"Alarm system looks to be a cut above standard, but nothin' Kaylee can't handle," Zoe observed, attempting to ignore the worry River's words had caused. "How many men'd you count on the perimeter?"

"'Bout twenty. Less'n I miss my guess all the heavy artillery's outside. Maybe a few inside, but not enough to clutter up the place," Jayne answered.

River closed her eyes for a moment. "Jayne's right. Feels safe with the Alliance garrison less than three clicks away. Didn't want too many men in the house. Too many eyes to see."

"Makes sense." Zoe acknowledged. "Jayne and I handle the twenty outside, can you handle what's inside?"

"Of course," River said, mildly offended at the question.

"Then let's get Kaylee workin' on that alarm and comm. System. Ain't but four hours 'til dawn, and I intend to eat breakfast in the Black."

XXXXXXX

The sudden glare of the overhead lights caused Mal to flinch instinctively. Go se, he thought, apparently coffee break's over.

"Thought you folks were takin' the night off." Mal tried for nonchalance.

"The search for truth never sleeps," said the first man, adjusting knobs on one of the monitors. "However, you're not our only guest this evening."

"And here I thought I was special."

"Oh you are, Mr. Reynolds. You are." Turning to the second man, he said, "Let's begin, shall we?"

XXXXXXX

River slipped stealthily through the darkened hallway. She could faintly make out the sound of Zoe and Jayne clearing an exit route behind her. She hoped they would hurry. She'd need Jayne to carry the Captain to safety.

Listening to the sounds of Mal's distress echoing in her head, she felt rage building like an inferno deep in her belly. Up ahead she saw soft light coming from the threshold of a doorway. Floating with a dancer's grace, she eased the door open.

Jeremiah Holmes sat at his desk, perusing the raw data from today's experiment. Fascinated by his reading material, he was oblivious to River standing inches away.

Slitting his throat with a long, swift stroke, she said, "He doesn't belong to you. He belongs to me." Holmes slumped across the desk, blood soaking into the data pad there.

Wiping off her blade, River made her way to the laboratory. She looked into a side room to see General Chang lying naked and bound to a metal table. Smiling, she moved on.

She heard a low voice beyond the next door. Shivering, she recognized the voice she knew would forevermore haunt Mal's nightmares.

She heard Zoe and Jayne coming down the corridor. Have to move quickly, she thought. Kicking open the door, she leapt at the man speaking. Snapping his neck, she dropped him quickly and reached for her blade. The deafening roar of Zoe's gun filled the small space, and the second man pitched forward soundlessly.

The two women looked at each other for a long moment, the interplay of thought and emotion a strong current between them.

Jayne, looking down at Mal's twitching body, broke the silence. "Ain't exactly sure how to get these things out without killin' him." he said, pointing at the probes.

Shaking herself slightly, River said, "I'll do it." She walked to the head of the table and looked down at her ai ren. Placing her hands gently on his face, she watched as his eyes fluttered open.

"I'm so sorry, ai ren, but I can't do this without hurting you," she whispered.

He blinked his acceptance. "Just do it, bao bei," he said, bracing himself as best he could.

She pulled out the probes gingerly, as Zoe detached the leads and removed the restraints.

"Get him back to Simon," Zoe instructed Jayne. "We'll finish up here."

Working in silence, the two women set charges throughout the complex. Once back on the ship, River held out the detonator Kaylee had rigged. "You want to do the honors?" she asked.

"With pleasure," Zoe answered.

As River took Serenity out of the world, explosions lit up the night sky behind them. The sight eased River's mind, but did nothing to soothe her heart. She felt the tempest raging in her lover's mind, as he lay in the infirmary. And she prayed to a merciful God that she could help him survive the maelstrom.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Hostages to Fortune**

**Part VI—The Aftermath**

Summary: Mal and River comes to terms with the results of the experiment.

XXXXXXX

Simon stood absently rubbing his wrist, as he looked at the sleeping Captain. He wondered, not for the first time, how the man survived all the things that seemed to happen to him on a regular basis. Simon himself had lost count of how many times Mal had lain on this very table, with assorted wounds major and minor.

This time, as least physically, Mal had come home relatively unscathed. Some bruising around his temples, wrists, and ankles indicated the placement of the restraints. And there were small, circular patches of irritated skin across the expanse of his chest, where Simon could only assume leads had been attached. Using small antiseptic swabs, he had carefully cleaned the multitude of tiny puncture wounds dotting Mal's scalp from the probes cruelly inserted there. Other than those small wounds and a case of dehydration, Mal looked the picture of health, Simon thought wryly.

It had been the dehydration that earned Simon his sore wrist. When Jayne had lain Mal in the infirmary, he seemed to be asleep. But when Simon tried to begin the IV fluids, Mal's hand had shot out, grabbing his wrist in a crushing grip. Trying to extricate himself had been useless, so he waited out the automatic defensive reaction until Mal's hand relaxed. Even in sleep, the man could do violence. The thought was oddly disturbing.

Though he knew the Captain was generally a rapid healer, Simon was much more concerned about the emotional fallout of Mal's recent ordeal. He'd seen firsthand what an encounter with BlueSun had done to his sister, and could only imagine the horrors Mal must have experienced.

River floated into the infirmary. "Tried to steal his soul, bottle him up like a drug."

"What do you mean, mei mei?" Simon felt a strange chill at her cryptic words.

"Doesn't matter now. I'm going to steal it back," she whispered. When she leaned down to kiss Mal's cheek, Simon turned away. It was one thing to accept River's relationship with the Captain, and quite another thing to have to witness her public displays of affection. Thus turned, he didn't see Mal grab River roughly by the nape of her neck. Realizing her mistake, River froze, waiting for Mal to really see her.

"Sorry, bao bei. Didn't recognize ya' there for a minute," Mal said, as he released her.

River smiled brightly, though she was shaken to the core. "It's all right, I should have given you some warning. I just wanted to welcome you home."

Mal sat up, instantly regretting the decision. He rubbed his temples gingerly, wincing at the bruising there.

"Headache, Captain?" Simon was instantly at his side.

"Yeah, sorta like someone shoved needles into my skull," Mal grimaced.

"Well, I can see they didn't alter your razor wit," Simon said, handing him a blue pill. "This should ease the headache fairly quickly."

"Thanks, doc," Mal said, getting to his feet. "I'd take it as a kindness if you'd get this needle outta me too. Had enough of that to last a good long spell."

"But you're dehydrated, Captain. You need your fluids."

Mal laid an arm across River's shoulders. "Don't worry. If this lovely lady'll help me get some clothes on, I intend on drinkin' large quantities of fluid first chance I get."

Simon sighed, removing the IV. "You do know you're my worst patient, don't you?"

"Huh. Thought I'da' got better with all the practice."

XXXXXXX

Mal and River climbed down into his bunk. Sighing tiredly, Mal decided one more nap before facing the crew at dinner might indeed be a good idea.

"Lie down with me," he said, shucking out of his clothes, and settling under the covers.

River wriggled quickly out of her dress and joined him, anxious to be near her ai ren . But as her hands began to drift across his chest, he stopped their progress firmly. "Sorry, bao bei. Only want to rest." Flipping her onto her other side, he pulled her back against his chest. He nuzzled his nose gently into her hair and fell asleep.

River lay still, staring at the wall. She could feel the tension in his arms and his rapid heartbeat against her back. And she knew, without using her unique abilities, that Malcolm Reynolds was badly shaken by what had been done to him. Ignoring the slight twinge of guilt, she slipped into his mind.

She found there confusion, anger, and fear. But the true cancer eating away at him was the shame of being laid so completely bare. River understood all too well the feeling of utter defenselessness. But for Mal, so accustomed to control and autonomy, the violation had been a brutal blow. Uneasy with even letting her, his future wife, into his most private thoughts, he could barely endure the invasion of an enemy.

River ached with his anguish. She resolved, lying there in his arms, that she would do whatever it would take to be his anchor, just as he had been hers since she first crawled out of the cryo-box in Serenity's cargo bay. She had faith and love enough for both of them.

XXXXXXX

Looking around the table at his crew, Mal was grateful for their gift of friendship. Kaylee had baked a cake to celebrate his return and the news of the engagement. Though Simon made a pretense of objecting, it was obvious that he was pleased to see his sister's happiness. And River was radiant, sitting beside Mal quietly, letting the wave of pleasant conversation wash over her.

But it was Zoe who held Mal's attention. She sat at the opposite end of the table, saying next to nothing. But her gaze on him was steady, and as always, he drew strength from the bond they shared. Her opinion was one of the very few he cared about, and he was pleased that she and River seemed to be somehow connected as they had not been before.

He listened to the story of his rescue, embellished by Jayne's singular insights. Knowing what was expected, he smiled in all the right spots. But as the conversation wore on, he felt the need of something stronger than the tea Kaylee had served with dinner. And he kept feeling that need long after the others had drifted off to bed, long after he had drunk an entire bottle of the cheap rotgut Jayne had provided.

Stumbling back to his bunk, he saw River, curled up on her side, clutching his pillow in sleep. Through the alcohol-induced haze, he thought how gorram much he wanted her. He shed his clothes with some difficulty and slid into bed beside her. Feeling his warmth, she instinctively turned into it, still asleep.

He was impatient to feel her beneath him, naked and writhing. Pulling her nightdress roughly off her shoulders, he pushed her thighs apart. River awoke, faintly startled.

"Mal," she said, reaching out to touch him.

"Don't talk," he hissed, pulling her arms roughly above her head. Pinning her firmly beneath his weight, he pushed into her with brutal thrusts, his whiskey-soaked breath coming in harsh pants beside her ear. She tried to free herself without injuring him, but his grip on her arms tightened.

Mal had never touched her with anything other than tenderness. Suddenly frightened, she thought, 'Stop, ai ren. Please stop.'

He jerked abruptly, sobriety returning with gut-wrenching clarity. Pulling himself off of her, he cam back from the darkness. "My god, River," he moaned, drawing shuddering breaths, "what have I done? I'm sorry, so sorry."

River sat up and held out her arms to him. Grabbing her like a drowning man holds a life preserver, Mal felt something within him break. She would not have known he cried had she not felt the hot tears burning their way down her chilled skin.

XXXXXXX

Mal awoke, tongue pasted to the roof of his mouth and head throbbing painfully, For one blessed moment, he did not remember the events of last night.

But, when he saw River climbing down the ladder of his bunk precariously balancing a cup of coffee and some sort of crackers, every cruel detail returned in sharp focus.

"Thought you could use these," she said, holding out the coffee in one hand and two blue pills in the other. Mal took them gratefully, unable to meet her gaze.

River climbed onto the bed, gently curling herself into Mal's embrace. "I love you, ai ren, " she whispered softly.

Mal thought his heart might burst from the generosity of the gift. "How can you say that, bao bei," he said, his voice cracking, "after what happened last night?"

"Because it's true," she said simply.

Mal swallowed the lump in his throat. Given the courage to look into her eyes, he said, "River, I never intended to hurt you…to use you…"

She interrupted him. "Didn't hurt me ai ren. Just scared me for a moment. Know you'd never really hurt me." She touched his cheek tenderly. "Know you were hurting."

Turning his kips into her palm, he kissed it softly. She could feel the tension in him begin to uncoil slowly. Wriggling up to rest her head on his shoulder, she continued, "Know what it's like to lie open and bare before cruelty, and I know the difference between malice and need. I want to be what you need, ai ren. I want to hold you safe like you hold me." She turned luminous brown eyes to his red-rimmed ones. "Make love to me, ai ren."

Mal slid her gently down onto the bed. Carefully removing her clothing, he looked down at her glowing skin. He began to kiss his way down her neck and breasts, trailing his hands further down her body. With exquisite care, he pleasured her with first his hands, and then, when she pleaded softly against his ear, with his body. She gave herself completely to him, and he reveled in the glory of her. He felt a healing begin, somewhere deep down inside him. And for the first time since Serenity Valley, he thanked God for the gifts in his life.

XXXXXX

Author's Note: To everyone who has stuck with this story to its completion, I offer my sincere thanks. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'd really be grateful for any feedback you could leave, as I am trying to determine whether this site is one that I need to continue to use to submit stories. If you'd like to read future fics from me, please take a moment to comment! Thanks!


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